How and Why You Need to Initiate Physical Contact on a Date

A key part of my game that was missing 4 years ago was the fact that I had no idea how important physical contact was. I remember sitting in a coffee shop, making some notes about the latest things that I learned by continuously talking to hundreds of women everywhere. Suddenly, something clicked. Imagine you get along great with a girl. Conversation is fluent, you gaze at each others eyes a lot. But you don’t take the time to establish some sort of physical contact soon after meeting her. Instead you wait until you escalate sexually. That will cause her to feel hesitant. She’s not used to be physical with you yet, and you’re already escalating sexually.

That realization made me adjust quickly. It became apparent that establishing physical contact is really important. It doesn’t mean to become the creepy touchy-feely guy. It means that you shouldn’t be afraid to solicit physical contact. Establishing this within the first few times you meet the girl is super important. Also, when you first meet a girl physical contact should be frequent, but short (i.e. telling an animated story and lightly touching her arm briefly). As you develop a connection the duration of physical contact should get longer (i.e. holding her hand). Here are a few quick ways/tips that I’ve used to get some physical contact going on the first couple of times that I’ve gone out with the girl.

Keep in mind that it is important to be comfortable when you’re seeing the girl. If you try anything posted below and you’re really nervous about it, and you do it half-assed, it will not help your game, but hurt it. Have a confident, relaxed attitude, and escalating physically should be a breeze.

DO’s

-If you’re walking together with the girl, push her hip to the side with yours playfully. If she pushes yours back use that moment to say something funny like, “haha, you’re quite the feisty one, aren’t you”, and put your arm around her.

-If you’re in a setting like a coffee shop, and you’re telling an animated story (using hand gestures) you can lightly/playfully tap her on the side of her arm.

-Use this as a last resort sort of thing. I’ll bust it out every once in a while, but avoid having it as your go-to thing. Tell her about the study where the character traits of lots of men were checked out, and compared to their ring and index finger length. If the ring finger is longer than the index finger, there was a high exposure to testosterone in the womb. Ask to see her hand, and while its in yours comment on whether or not she had a high exposure to testosterone in the womb. You can even segway this into discussing her, talk about if she’s aggressive, likes to lead, etc. Girls love to talk about themselves, you have a perfect opportunity to let her do that here.

-If you’re sitting opposite her at a table, and reaching to touch her with your hand would look weird, bring your leg close to hers under the table. Then after touching her leg with your leg a few times, keep your leg there in contact with hers. At the knee/calf area is perfect. If she doesn’t move her leg away, that usually means 2 things: she feels comfortable in your company, or she likes you.

DONT’s

-Don’t reach. What makes initiating physical contact look weird is if you’re reaching from far away. When you touch the girl while you’re sitting close to her its subtle, and feels natural. When you’re reaching to touch her it gives her logical brain some time to start analyzing what you’re doing, and it looks awkward to anyone sitting beside you.

-Don’t look where you are touching her. If you’re lightly tapping her arm while talking to her, maintain strong eye contact.

-If you’re telling her a story, and using animated hand gestures, do not maintain physical contact with her for more than a few seconds AT MOST.

Now a disclaimer: Use the above pointers as guidelines. There are just a few examples that I’m using to illustrate how I initiate physical contact. Ideally you should figure out your own way of doing this. The key is to make it feel comfortable, and natural to you. Some unique situations require a different approach. The above is mainly aimed at those first few times you see the girl and are establishing both an emotional and a physical connection. Once you get more comfortable with each other (and a certain level of kissing/sexual escalation happens) you can pretty much do physical contact whenever you feel its necessary.